A Quality Morning
Most people don’t think of their morning routines as valuable time to bond with their significant others. Why not? Feel like you don’t have time? Always in a rush in the mornings? Too little time already to get the kids ready for school? Too busy making sure you’ve got the iPhone, your coffee, and your briefcase in the car before you leave? Is there anything else you need to take? Do you have any errands to run on your way in to the office?
The number of tasks increases to fill your available time. So, too, your morning routine will expand to encompass important jobs that you consciously add. So, what things can you do before you leave in the mornings to ensure a happy, successful marriage? Perhaps waking up ten minutes earlier so that you can share some quality time is worth the ten minutes of sleep you’ll miss.
Try Out This List
1. Start your morning with a smile. Even if your spouse usually wakes up after you do, if you begin your day with a smile, you will be more positive throughout the day with those around you, including your spouse. So make a conscious effort to wake up on the right side of the bed.
2. Life is how you perceive it. Perceive your coffee cup as half full, and not as half empty. You’ll find, over time, that this good spirit will influence those around you. There’s an old expression that is very true: “You make your own good time.” Garth Stein said it another way in The Art of Racing in the Rain, “The car goes where the eyes go.” In other words, the law of attraction allows us to create our own destinies. So, use that law to your advantage.
3. Kiss your spouse as soon as you are both awake. (Okay, maybe after you’ve both brushed your teeth.) To ensure a healthy marriage, it is important to touch one another intimately. This seems obvious, but it is often lost after years of marriage. In successful marriages, spouses remember that one of the biggest things that sets their relationship apart from their relationships with others is that they can be physically intimate in a way that they can’t be with others. So, start your day with physical intimacy.
4. Speaking of physical intimacy, try showering together. You won’t just be saving water, you may be taking a step to save your marriage. Being nude in a confined space will likely lead to some other fun ideas. But even when it doesn’t, it is still a special way to start your day that will have you thinking intimately of your spouse throughout your day. Feeling insecure about your body? Your spouse loves you for you, blemishes and all. Don’t let your insecurities hold you back from happiness.
5. Make your spouse coffee or tea the way he likes it. It doesn’t take long and is a simple act that will make him feel loved. And caffeinated . . . which is good in the morning.
6. Read the newspaper together or share a news story or a Facebook post about a topic in which you are both interested. It is a daily reminder of the views and interests that you share.
7. Ask your spouse what her plans are for the day. Compare your calendar with hers. Show interest in her day so that she knows that you care. My husband often asks me to lunch if we are both available. Yea! Now I have something to look forward to!
8. Give your spouse three real compliments before she leaves the house in the morning. Who wouldn’t smile starting the day this way? Remind each of you why you fell in love with the other.
9. Tell your spouse that you appreciate her. Married couples who feel appreciated have greater marital satisfaction and fewer thoughts of divorce. Yesterday morning, I took the garbage down to the curb before my husband was awake because we had both forgotten it the night before. He thanked me for that, even though it’s a chore that isn’t assigned to either of us. So nice!
10. Say “I love you” before you part ways. Remember the first time he told you that? Remember how hard your heart was beating when you, too, plunged into that water? These words never get old when there is meaning behind them.
Indoctrinate these ten habits into your morning routine and immunize your relationship against failure. Is ten too many? Then choose the three that appeal to you most. Let me know which ones they are and how well they work. You can report your successes to me at Joryn@OpenPalmLaw.com. Your success is mine, as well.
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About this week’s author, Joryn Jenkins.
Joryn, attorney and Open Palm Founder, began her own firm here in Tampa after a 14-year career in law, two of which she served as a professor of law at Stetson University. She is a recipient of the prestigious A. Sherman Christensen Award, an honor bestowed in the United States Supreme Court upon those who have provided exceptional leadership in the American Inns of Court Movement. For more information on Joryn’s professional experience, take a look at her resume.