For years, I had a horrible job. I was a great family law trial attorney.
Traditional divorce in the courtroom is horrifying. For years, we trial attorneys have been doing it all wrong: going to court to dissolve marriages… taking our most personal, private relationships in front of a third party (the judge) who:
1 – Doesn’t have a clue who we are;
2 – Doesn’t share our values; and
3 – Doesn’t love our children the way that we do.
People are so afraid of divorce and of court that they would rather commit suicide than go there… and sometimes they take their children with them. See http://www.wfla.com/story/23804380/three-family-members-found-dead-in-spring-hill. See also http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2191568/Lilly-Blunt-Husband-killed-wife-children-murder-suicide-bid-weeks-filed-divorce.html.
But there are others who are convinced that they can persuade the judge of the righteousness of their cause, once they get their “day in court.” The fact is, you never get your day in court… in court. There’s a reason it’s called “no-fault” divorce. Wrongdoing never enters into the picture. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce. So the judge isn’t interested in:
Whether he cheated with your best friend; or
Whether she had her boobs done with your money; or
Whether he spent all of your money on the slot machines; or
Whether she spent all of your money on Percocet and Oxycodone ….
Most of the time, this is all irrelevant in court. All you get to show is “irreconcilable differences.”
But not in collaborative divorce; in collaborative divorce, you get your “day in court.” It’s just not in court.