Divorce Bashes

Women and men alike often bid farewell to their single status during wild celebrations with their best friends. Whether it’s a raucous trip to Vegas or a relaxed spa weekend, many engaged people celebrate one last weekend of singlehood by means of bachelorette and bachelor parties. After all, it’s their last chance to be wicked, right? So why not welcome your newly single status in the same way?

Divorce parties are all the rage among the freshly liberated folk who want to celebrate their first chance to be wicked again. It’s like a debutante party because it tells the world that your divorce is final, and that you are ready to move on with the rest of your life. It’s also a way to celebrate that the stress of the demise of your marriage is behind you, and that you are looking ahead to a brighter future. And after a long, emotional and often traumatic divorce process, you deserve a day when your loved ones celebrate YOU.

Many divorce parties include a ceremony of some sort, a rite that symbolically ends the marriage. Some women burn their wedding gowns, some people cast away their wedding rings (pawn it and pay for your divorce bash!), some destroy pictures or possessions of their exes, some shred their marriage licenses, and some say vows promising to love themselves forever. Rituals such as this are important because they memorialize the closing of one door, and the opening of another.

Many parties include a festively decorated cake. It might portray your ex in a compromising position, it could depict everything you won in the divorce, or, if you’re a woman (or maybe even if you’re a man), it may well be downright phallic.

You might want to play fun games and listen to or watch divorce-themed songs and movies. Just like a bachelorette party, you’ll need fun accessories too. Tiaras, sashes, buttons, anything penis-related.

Just remember, you are older and wiser than you were as a bachelorette. Not only do you not want to embarrass yourself, you probably have children whom you don’t wish to embarrass. So, keep the video recordings to a minimum. You’re probably angrier now than you will be a year from now, and you don’t want your actions to come back to haunt you.

Enjoy your divorce party, but remember its purpose. It is to celebrate the rebirth of your independence. You are now free to live your life as you wish. Focus on your healing. Now celebrate!

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