Divorce

If you are anything like me, you’ve read all of the “bring the spark back to your relationship” books. You might have sent a ranting nine paragraph email to the Viall Files podcast.

I have an old friend, a former client with whom I’ve now been close for going on 30 years. She and I visit each other probably once a month. I handled her divorce, negotiating the details of her marital settlement agreement with her then-husband.

People live longer today than they ever have in history, women longer than men, of course. Both of my own grandparents lived well into their 90s; Dad died only recently at 94. Furthermore, all three of my loved ones were cognizant.

All couples have their ups and downs, and many storms can be weathered with love and dedication to their marital commitment. Many of us (my husband of 26 years and I included) have tried (or should resort to) marriage counseling to get us back on track.

Judge Asks Robin Williams’ Widow, Children to Settle Estate Battle Outside Courtroom is the title of an article posted on March 30, 2015, in the L.A. Times. Mr. William’s widow, Susan Schneider Williams.

In the midst of pandemic lockdown, it feels as if the world is ending, and yet, the most stressful part of my life is scrolling through my Instagram feed. It seems as if a new celebrity break-up is announced every day. These are people I care about!

I’m one of those people who believes in loving my job, and I do, immensely. In fact, I’m not ashamed to say that it’s how I define myself. But that definition comes with consequences, when you’re not willing to let it go . . . and I wasn’t.

Sharing a secret happens more often than you would think in the collaborative divorce process, in which we have two folks parting ways. Perhaps they’re parting ways because one of them withheld a secret and now wants to unburden himself.

Magic! It permeates my life. It’s why the collaborative divorce process has affected me so deeply. I talk a lot about the fact that my parents were divorced when I was seven and about how my mother loaded us kids into the van and moved us 3000 miles across the country.

If you ever watched the Oscar-award winning movie Juno, you might recall Husband Jason Bateman suggesting, “We can get a collaborative divorce. I hear it’s all the rage.”