Collaborative Divorce
Excellent Exes: Ending Up Better After A Collaborative Divorce
Early in my career, as a young and single divorce attorney, my clients often commented “I’ll bet you never want to get married.” My response was always the same, “No, I never want to get divorced.” And what I meant was that I would be sure to choose my spouse extra carefully because I knew…
Read MoreDon’t Destroy Your Family; Transform It The Collaborative Way!
So you want a divorce. You are tired of living in an unhappy marriage in which the bad times far outnumber the good times. You’ve done everything you can to keep your family together, but it’s just not working. You never thought that your marriage would end in divorce, but here you are. But does…
Read MoreIs Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder?
Is Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder? Colette didn’t trust anyone. She needed to be in control. She feared abandonment. She suffered intense mood swings. She was impulsive. She displayed inappropriate anger. She could not view things realistically. Colette had a child with Tom, although they weren’t married. The second…
Read MoreEmbrace Change
Collaborative divorce offers families the opportunity to work with a team of professionals to negotiate a resolution that meets the highest goals and interests of the entire family. The only constant in life is that there will always be change. Good times will transform into not-so-good times. Bad times will get better. Life is a…
Read MoreWho is an Effective Collaborative Attorney?
Who is an effective collaborative attorney? An effective collaborative attorney is confident in her ability to practice law; she has an appropriate amount of experience in her practice area, in this case in the dissolution of marriages. As with any other practice method or area, it is crucial for your attorney to be skilled in…
Read MoreDon’t Be a Pelican!
Collaborative Divorce isn’t just a process; it’s a vocation. I recently escaped for ten days to the Virgin Islands to take a breath, to re-examine my role in the collaborative process, and to assess whether I am doing all that I can to move the process into the mainstream. Ten days without shoes, without my…
Read MoreThe Collaborative Process: Initial Conversations Between Co-Collaborative Counsel and Choosing Neutrals
As soon as both clients have chosen their collaborative process attorneys, if you have not yet, reach out to your co-collaborative counsel (that would be “opposing counsel” in a litigated case) and introduce yourself. You should begin discussing who might be appropriate team members in light of the issues involved in the divorce at hand…
Read MoreRespectful Dialogue A Contagious Core Value of the Collaborative Divorce Process
Disrespectfulness is not tolerated in the collaborative divorce process. We can probably all sadly agree that our society is devolving into a culture of disrespect. Rather than learning to respect others, because of what the media and our political leaders demonstrate for them on a daily basis, our children learn to disrespect them. Our government…
Read MoreAsking Divorce Questions: Is Collaboration Right For You?
Ask Yourself These Questions Before Choosing Collaboration For Your Divorce Process. Divorce is stressful. Before you even begin your divorce, you must choose how you want to get divorced. Litigation, mediation, cooperation, collaboration . . . there are numerous options. So, is collaboration the right process for you? Answer the following questions to determine…
Read MoreWords Matter
“Words matter. They’re contagious. And hopeful words infect people.” -Angela Maiers My girlfriend asks me what brand of eyeliner I use. I can’t remember that kind of stuff so I tell her it’s purple and I think it’s oil-based because you smear it with a brush after you stroke it on. She asks me again…
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