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bad marriage good divorce

Bad Marriage; Good Divorce

A divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that you and your significant other become enemies. After all, you once loved this person enough to marry him or to have a child with him. Can’t you at least end your romance as friends? The answer may depend on the process that you choose to sever the threads of…

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cohabitation before marriage

Reasons to Test Drive the Cow: Cohabitation Before Marriage

There’s an old saying: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” This idiom is usually used to refer to men who don’t want to get married when they can get all the benefits of marriage without doing so. These days, the idea is, why get married if you can just live together? But…

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collaborative paradigm shift

The Paradigm Shift

Families don’t belong in the courtroom! How can it be that one buys a license to create a family but must sue one’s spouse to restructure one? Because the collaborative process requires attorneys to focus on the interests and goals of their clients,  rather than on their positions, attorneys must make a paradigm shift from…

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Sideswiped

    The following “story” is not make-believe. I only cut-and-pasted a series of e-mails I received late last year from a former divorce client. I’ve added no embellishments and I’ve only edited to 1) remove real names and replace them with pseudonyms; and 2) make it easier for you to read. When you finish…

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social media prenup

Social Media Prenup

Social Media Clauses in Prenuptial Agreements I had an interesting consultation this morning. I thought that we were just meeting to discuss my preparation of a fairly standard prenuptial agreement. However, the young woman asked that we include a “social media clause” in her prenup. While I have read several articles recently claiming that these…

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borderline personality disorder divorce

Is Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder?

Is Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder?   Colette didn’t trust anyone. She needed to be in control. She feared abandonment. She suffered intense mood swings. She was impulsive. She displayed inappropriate anger. She could not view things realistically. Colette had a child with Tom, although they weren’t married. The second…

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divorce collateral damage

Collateral Damage

When I married my husband, he had already been married once before to someone else . . . and divorced. Early on, I remember him preparing me to go with him to his semi-annual martial arts training and the test that would accompany it, all the while explaining to me the festive gathering of old…

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Embrace Change - The Collaborative Process

Embrace Change

Collaborative divorce offers families the opportunity to work with a team of professionals to negotiate a resolution that meets the highest goals and interests of the entire family. The only constant in life is that there will always be change. Good times will transform into not-so-good times. Bad times will get better. Life is a…

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Who is an Effective Collaborative Attorney?

Who is an effective collaborative attorney? An effective collaborative attorney is confident in her ability to practice law; she has an appropriate amount of experience in her practice area, in this case in the dissolution of marriages. As with any other practice method or area, it is crucial for your attorney to be skilled in…

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dive in to the collaborative process

Don’t Be a Pelican!

Collaborative Divorce isn’t just a process; it’s a vocation. I recently escaped for ten days to the Virgin Islands to take a breath, to re-examine my role in the collaborative process, and to assess whether I am doing all that I can to move the process into the mainstream. Ten days without shoes, without my…

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