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Kids Don’t Choose to Divorce; Divorce Collaboratively

Kids Don’t Choose to Divorce; Divorce Collaboratively Little girls dream of the day when they will marry their princes. They play make-believe games, dressing like brides, holding silk flowers, and slowly marching down the aisle. They dream of what it will be like to be a mother, treating their dolls like their babies, feeding them,…

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marriages end co-parenting doesn't

Marriages End; Co-Parenting Doesn’t

Marriages End; Co-Parenting Doesn’t Your Children Deserve A Positive Co-Parenting Relationship Unfortunately, not every marriage is meant to last “until death do us part.” But even if your marriage isn’t stamped “No Expiration Date,” if you were lucky enough for it to result in children, then you should come out of your marriage with some…

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divorce can be reasonable

Divorce is Never Free, But It Can Be Reasonable

Even in the easiest divorce, there are expenses. Splitting one household into two always results in higher expenses for each person. Even if the couple comes to an agreement on their own, there are court filing fees and other unavoidable costs. The simplest divorce is actually more expensive than the simplest marriage! And most divorces…

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App Our Family Wizard

Our Family Wizard

As a promoter of positive co-parenting relationships, I strongly believe that even if you did not succeed as a married couple, you can still co-parent effectively post-divorce. Sometimes, that takes different tools for different people. Much to my dismay, my ex-husband and I have some tension in co-parenting. We simply do not communicate well and…

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excellent exes after collaborative divorce

Excellent Exes: Ending Up Better After A Collaborative Divorce

Early in my career, as a young and single divorce attorney, my clients often commented “I’ll bet you never want to get married.” My response was always the same, “No, I never want to get divorced.” And what I meant was that I would be sure to choose my spouse extra carefully because I knew…

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Collaborate For Your Children's Sake

Collaborate For Your Children’s Sake

Children should never be placed in the middle of their parents’ problems. Doing so can have a devastating psychological impact on them. Children who are forced to take sides against one of their parents exhibit more behavioral problems and experience higher rates of depression and substance abuse. Your children didn’t choose your marriage or your…

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transform your family

Don’t Destroy Your Family; Transform It The Collaborative Way!

So you want a divorce. You are tired of living in an unhappy marriage in which the bad times far outnumber the good times. You’ve done everything you can to keep your family together, but it’s just not working. You never thought that your marriage would end in divorce, but here you are. But does…

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better water marriage

Better Water: Looking At Marriage With A Positive Attitude

My husband and I talked about “down-sizing” yesterday, on the long drive back from South Beach, where we had celebrated my 62nd birthday with family. But, as soon as we broached the subject, as appealing as it sounded, we ran into problems. First of all, our house is already only 2300 square feet; we could…

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bad marriage good divorce

Bad Marriage; Good Divorce

A divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that you and your significant other become enemies. After all, you once loved this person enough to marry him or to have a child with him. Can’t you at least end your romance as friends? The answer may depend on the process that you choose to sever the threads of…

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cohabitation before marriage

Reasons to Test Drive the Cow: Cohabitation Before Marriage

There’s an old saying: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” This idiom is usually used to refer to men who don’t want to get married when they can get all the benefits of marriage without doing so. These days, the idea is, why get married if you can just live together? But…

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collaborative paradigm shift

The Paradigm Shift

Families don’t belong in the courtroom! How can it be that one buys a license to create a family but must sue one’s spouse to restructure one? Because the collaborative process requires attorneys to focus on the interests and goals of their clients,  rather than on their positions, attorneys must make a paradigm shift from…

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Sideswiped

    The following “story” is not make-believe. I only cut-and-pasted a series of e-mails I received late last year from a former divorce client. I’ve added no embellishments and I’ve only edited to 1) remove real names and replace them with pseudonyms; and 2) make it easier for you to read. When you finish…

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