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transform your family

Don’t Destroy Your Family; Transform It The Collaborative Way!

So you want a divorce. You are tired of living in an unhappy marriage in which the bad times far outnumber the good times. You’ve done everything you can to keep your family together, but it’s just not working. You never thought that your marriage would end in divorce, but here you are. But does…

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better water marriage

Better Water: Looking At Marriage With A Positive Attitude

My husband and I talked about “down-sizing” yesterday, on the long drive back from South Beach, where we had celebrated my 62nd birthday with family. But, as soon as we broached the subject, as appealing as it sounded, we ran into problems. First of all, our house is already only 2300 square feet; we could…

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bad marriage good divorce

Bad Marriage; Good Divorce

A divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that you and your significant other become enemies. After all, you once loved this person enough to marry him or to have a child with him. Can’t you at least end your romance as friends? The answer may depend on the process that you choose to sever the threads of…

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cohabitation before marriage

Reasons to Test Drive the Cow: Cohabitation Before Marriage

There’s an old saying: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” This idiom is usually used to refer to men who don’t want to get married when they can get all the benefits of marriage without doing so. These days, the idea is, why get married if you can just live together? But…

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collaborative paradigm shift

The Paradigm Shift

Families don’t belong in the courtroom! How can it be that one buys a license to create a family but must sue one’s spouse to restructure one? Because the collaborative process requires attorneys to focus on the interests and goals of their clients,  rather than on their positions, attorneys must make a paradigm shift from…

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Sideswiped

    The following “story” is not make-believe. I only cut-and-pasted a series of e-mails I received late last year from a former divorce client. I’ve added no embellishments and I’ve only edited to 1) remove real names and replace them with pseudonyms; and 2) make it easier for you to read. When you finish…

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social media prenup

Social Media Prenup

Social Media Clauses in Prenuptial Agreements I had an interesting consultation this morning. I thought that we were just meeting to discuss my preparation of a fairly standard prenuptial agreement. However, the young woman asked that we include a “social media clause” in her prenup. While I have read several articles recently claiming that these…

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borderline personality disorder divorce

Is Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder?

Is Collaborative Ever Appropriate When a Client Has Borderline Personality Disorder?   Colette didn’t trust anyone. She needed to be in control. She feared abandonment. She suffered intense mood swings. She was impulsive. She displayed inappropriate anger. She could not view things realistically. Colette had a child with Tom, although they weren’t married. The second…

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divorce collateral damage

Collateral Damage

When I married my husband, he had already been married once before to someone else . . . and divorced. Early on, I remember him preparing me to go with him to his semi-annual martial arts training and the test that would accompany it, all the while explaining to me the festive gathering of old…

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Embrace Change - The Collaborative Process

Embrace Change

Collaborative divorce offers families the opportunity to work with a team of professionals to negotiate a resolution that meets the highest goals and interests of the entire family. The only constant in life is that there will always be change. Good times will transform into not-so-good times. Bad times will get better. Life is a…

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