Artificial Husband

Artificial Husband

I have an old friend, a former client with whom I’ve now been close for going on 30 years. She and I visit each other probably once a month. I handled her divorce, negotiating the details of her marital settlement agreement with her then-husband.

A few years later, he remarried. They had no kids together, but they’ve remained friendly over the many years since, and each one still calls the other on his or her birthday.

She’s never remarried, although she’s dated occasionally.

She and I were having coffee the other day, chit-chatting about this and that… and the other thing, sitting in the warmth of her sun-brightened kitchen. Her house phone rang, so she got up to answer it. She listened for a moment, then hung up without saying a word. Then she sighed before explaining, “Telemarketer.” She sat back down.

I questioned her, “Why do you still have a house phone? You have a perfectly good cell phone. In fact, it’s confusing because, whenever I message you, I have to remember not to text your house instead of the cell.”

“Well, it’s like this,” she explained. “The landline is my artificial husband. It’s a lot cheaper than the real thing. Whenever I misplace my cell phone, instead of asking my hubby to call me, I use that to call my cell. That’s how I find my phone whenever I lose it.”

If you and your spouse can agree on how to resolve your divorce, you can remain friendly afterward, even if there are no children for whom to be friendly. If you’re drowning in litigation, reach out to Joryn Jenkins at or find her at OpenPalmLaw, where we are changing the way the world gets divorced!

Learn more about collaborative divorce. Follow Open Palm Law.

Need advice now? Contact Joryn!

About this week’s author, Joryn Jenkins.

Joryn, attorney and Open Palm Founder, began her own firm here in Tampa after a 14-year career in law, two of which she served as a professor of law at Stetson University. She is a recipient of the prestigious A. Sherman Christensen Award, an honor bestowed in the United States Supreme Court upon those who have provided exceptional leadership in the American Inns of Court Movement. For more information on Joryn’s professional experience, take a look at her resume.

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