Divorce is a frightening prospect. It is a well-known fact that divorce is one of the most stressful events one can suffer in a lifetime. Follow these 12 tips to achieve success when coping with divorce stress.
Accept it. You can’t do much about what has happened. You can,
however, significantly control how you react to it. This is a fresh start, a new beginning. See it that way.
Listen to what you say. Want to attract more good stuff? Then talk about good stuff and what you are doing to move in the direction of the good stuff.
That being said, you must also understand when to be quiet and listen. If you are able to hear your spouse’s point-of-view, you will be more willing to consider possible settlements.
Focus on your future. Talk with others about what you want. Then listen and be willing to accept what they offer.
Choose your divorce process. There are multiple divorce processes, and you are not required to litigate. Be sure to consult a lawyer who can explain your different courtless options.
Focus on interests, not on positions. Identify your interests; there may be several ways to achieve your goals. This will give you more bargaining room and increase the likelihood that both of you can accomplish your most important goals with fewer compromises.
Be realistic! Try to see the big picture, and take time to view issues from your spouse’s perspective.
Remember that your divorce attorney is on your side. S/he has your best interests at heart. Just because s/he is telling you something that you do not want to hear, doesn’t mean that s/he does not understand what you want.
Understand that you have signed a contract with your attorney. If you don’t understand the terms of it, ask your attorney questions. If you are not comfortable with the amount of time billed on your case, discuss this with your attorney sooner rather than later.
Do your homework. Any divorce takes a lot of hard work. The more work you do, the more that you will be committed to resolving the matter, and the less you will have to pay your attorneys and other professionals to do the work for you or to chase you down to do the work they requested of you.
Be transparent. Disclose everything material to your divorce, and by doing so, you will develop the trust necessary to settle your differences and move forward with your ex as amicably as possible.
Observe the Golden Rule.Treat your spouse as you would like to be treated.
Remember; if you have children, your divorce does not end your relationship with your spouse. While divorces are highly emotional, try to remember that there will be life after your divorce, and you want to avoid doing things during this process that will be destructive to your relationships with your spouse and with his/her family.
Follow Open Palm Law to learn more about the collaborative divorce process and how it can help you!
About this week’s authors: Joryn Jenkins.
Joryn, attorney and Open Palm Founder, began her own firm here in Tampa after a 14-year career in law, 2 of which she served as professor in law at Stetson University. She is a recipient of the prestigious A. Sherman Christensen award, an honor bestowed upon those who have provided exceptional leadership to The American Inns of Court Movement. For more information on Joryn’s professional experience, take a look at her resume.